


Being Human

by CaliahAndTauran



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-03
Updated: 2015-01-03
Packaged: 2018-03-05 01:31:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3100040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaliahAndTauran/pseuds/CaliahAndTauran
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"As you sit on your shelf that night, looking into the night sky at the brightest star up there, you make a wish. "I wish... I was human."' One-shot, DirkJake, OOCness</p>
            </blockquote>





	Being Human

**Author's Note:**

> (A/N: Heyyyya guys. It’s Caliah this time. This story is a one-shot I’ve been working on an attempt at Dirk Jake sooo expect OOCness. Uuuum this’ll probably be rated T! I based this story off a song, and I was thinking that if you can guess what song it is, I’ll take a ship request for the next one-shot I write. (I might even let you choose the AU ;P ) I have a few lyrics from the song placed here and there, so good luck if this challenge catches your fancy! P.S. Obviously I do not own the song. Or Homestuck. Song belongs to the original artist and Homestuck belongs to Andrew Hussie. Yes? Okay? Cool!)

 

Everyday you sit on the same shelf. Stare at the same wall, plastered with posters with your black button eyes. You know you’ve started collecting dust, and you know this should make you slightly irritated. But it doesn’t. Just sad. You haven't been moved in quite some time, and that means your boy has been growing up. You first met him thirteen years ago, when you were given to him as a present by his aunt. The boys guardian disapproved of the doll, but the aunt just laughed and said he needed to get over his petty fear. His guardian just groaned and said whatever. You’ve been there for him as he grew up. Even when he got new toys you were always his favorite.

When he was ten his guardian (Dirk calls him “Bro”) gave him a puppet named Cal some what reluctantly. When Bro went away on long trips, Dirk would often play soldiers with the two of you. You always won. Things were perfect for a long time, and you were happy. Then Dirk turned twelve, and he started to change. He often came home with cuts and bruises, and Bro was gone so often that he wouldn’t notice. You noticed though, and if you had had a heart, it would’ve broke. The last time he held you, you were in your solider costume (Dirk’s aunts wife often made him clothing) and he carefully lifted you off his bed. He didn’t smile much anymore, so it was an absolute treat when he did. And at you. You remember the last words he spoke to you.

  
“Well, it’s been fun Jake, but it’s time to put you up.”

He then placed you up on his shelf, and you’ve been there ever since. You get to see him every day walk through his door, sometimes limping, sometimes slightly bloody, and other times stumbling as if he can’t control his movements. Dirk now wears pointy glasses, and you don’t see his eyes anymore. He eventually goes to bed and you watch him, and you watch the sky. Your shelf is right next to his window, and sometimes you can see the stars.

One particular night, Dirk came stumbling in his room. This wasn’t exactly odd, but what stood out was that there were tears streaming down his face. You were astonished, you hadn’t seen the boy cry since he was little and prone to tantrums. That night as he fell asleep, you felt a feeling you’ve never felt before. An emptiness. For once in your existence you wish you could comfort him. Tell him that it’s alright, and that you’re there for him. As you sit on your shelf that night, looking into the night sky at the brightest star up there, you make a wish.

“I wish... I was human.”

OoOoOoOoOoO

You’re groggy, and this strikes you as strange. Normally you don’t feel anything besides the little flickerings of happiness and sadness you get for your human. Then you realize you can’t see anything. This has you slightly worried, because you’ve never had this problem. Even when it’s pitch dark in Dirk’s room you can make out the outlines of his bed and other furniture. A voice comes into focus, and you wonder if Bro is home, talking to Dirk. Then you feel a pain in your side.

“AGH!”

“I said, how the hell did you get in my room!”

  
You blink your eyes open. Wait blink? You’ve never done that before. As you fully open your eyes you stare into the face of your human. Dirk.  
He has a crowbar in his hand, and you think that might have caused the pain in your side. Pain’s new too. Huh.

“Don’t make me ask you again.”

  
He lifts the crowbar again, and with a start, you use your vocal cords for the first time.

“Don’t!”

  
He doesn't put the weapon down and continues to stare at you from behind his shades.

  
“Who are you and why the fuck are you naked in my room.”

  
You look down at yourself and discover… hands? No longer are you made of fabric but skin. You touch your face, amazed and run a hand through your hair. You’re grinning like crazy, then he hits you again with the crowbar.

“Ow! Stop doing that!”

“Then answer my damn questions.”

You stand up, wobbly on your new legs and take a step towards him.

“It’s amazing to finally talk you, I’m Jake.”

  
He gives you a blank look.

“I still don’t know who the fuck you are.”

  
You feel a bit hurt. You’d known him all these years, and he doesn’t recognize you.

  
“I’m your Jake. The Doll… Well I guess I’m not a doll anymore. I kinda became human? I’m not sure how that works, but I’ve always wanted to be alive! It’s kinda weird to be able to feel things, but-”

  
Dirk cuts you off.

  
“Ha. Funny prank, I’m sure Caliborn put you up to it. Just leave me alone and tell him I fell for his shitty prank, I don’t care.”  
“I’m not a prank, I’m real.”  
“Yeah, and I’m a superhero.”

He rolls his eyes.  
You smile at him fondly.

“I remember when you were. You use to tie a towel around you neck and pretend to fly around.”  
“....All kids do that.”  
“I use to be your side kick, you use to call me Hope Boy, and you were-”  
“Stop it.”

His face is now white, and he looks a little scared. You messed up.

“I'm sorry, I didn’t mean to frighten you.”  
“You’re not Jake. Old doll’s don’t become human. That stuff doesn't happen in real life.”

You point up at the shelf.

  
“Then where am I?”

  
He moves over to the shelf quickly, pushing aside books and various trinkets searching for, well, you. Finding nothing, he does a quick scan of his room, and kneels down beside his shelf where the tattered remains of your soldier outfit lay in pieces.

“Are you really Jake? My toy soldier?”

  
You nod vigorously. You want more than anything for Dirk to believe you.

  
“Then tell me something else only he would know. About me.”

  
You think for a minute.

  
“When you were eleven, you set off a firework in the house when your brother was gone. He never found out because you cleaned up the mess, and scrubbed the scorch mark off the walls for hours."  
“Holy shit.”

  
He heavily sits on his bed, his head in his hands.

  
“You okay?”

  
He raises his head, and takes off his glasses. Dirk looks so vulnerable in that minute that you go over to him and hug him. You’ve only seen Dirk hug his aunt, and you hope it gives him the right message. He stiffens, and you start to move back. You don’t want to make him uncomfortable. As soon as you begin to pull away he hugs you back tightly. After a few seconds (in which you discover warmth. A rather pleasant feeling.) he pulls back. He’s looking away from you and you wonder if you’ve made him uncomfortable after all.

  
“Hey Jake?”  
“Yeah?”  
“I think we need to find you some clothes.”  
“...You’re right. I’m afraid I’ve outgrown my old wardrobe.”

OoOoOoOoOoOoOo

A few articles of clothing later, you’re admiring yourself in a mirror. This is the first time you’ve seen yourself since your transformation, and you have to admit, you arent bad looking. You’re slightly taller than Dirk, (strange since you’ve always been smaller than him) and have rather spiky black hair. Your eyes are no longer black and emotionless, but dark green and full of energy. Dirk gave you one of his shirts (your favorite, with the orange hat on it) and a pair of jeans. He’s looking at you approvingly, his anime shades back in place.

  
“So… What now?”

  
You look at him confused.

  
“What do you mean?”

He rubs his head.

“Well I guess you haven't been outside for awhile… I was thinking we could go walk around? Maybe get some breakfast?”  
“Like, food breakfast?”

Dirk covers his mouth with his hand and hunches over. He’s shaking and you’re instantly by his side.

  
“Are you okay?!?”

  
He straightens up, hand still over his mouth, and you realize he’s laughing.

  
“Don’t look so shocked, Jesus.”  
“Sorry, I haven’t heard you laugh like that in ages.”

  
Slowly removing his hand from his face, you catch a quick glance of his grin before it fades to a half smile.

  
“Anyway. Food?”

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0oo0

You poke suspiciously at the lump. It didn’t move, and it was warm and squishy.

  
“Are you sure this is edible?”  
“Jake, stop playing with your food and try it.”

  
You pick up the thing Dirk calls a “hamburger.” Its tan on the out side and dark brown on the inside, and dripping with orange-yellow goop. Hesitanly you put your mouth up to it and take a nibble.

  
“Mmmm?!”  
“Good?”

  
Nodding vigourously, you take a bite out of the burger.  
Dirk didn’t order food for himself, only the food he gave you. He’s resting his head on his hand, with an elebow propped up on the sticky table you’re sitting at, and watches you eat. He took you to eat at a place called McDonalds, and so far you are loving it.  
Between bites you chat with him, asking questions about his world and him asking questions about what it was like to be a doll.

  
“Wait, so for the past few years you’ve been watching me get undressed.”  
“Yep.”  
“...”  
“What?”  
“That’s really weird.”  
“But you undress me all the time.”

  
You say this rather loudly stupified. Why the hell was it a problem? At a table behind you, an older lady let out an offended gasp and dragged her child to a different table to eat. Dirks shoulders are shaking again with laughter, and this time you join him. You aren’t exactly sure what he finds so funny, but it feels good to be able to laugh with him. Dirks laughing cuts off, almost as soon as it had started. He’s staring out the restaurants window, his mouth in a thin line. You look behind you, trying to catch a glimpse of what he’s staring at, and see three boys, Dirks age or older. You’re about to ask Dirk if he knows them when he bursts up out of his seat.

  
“We need to go. Now.”

  
You stand, dropping the remains of your burger.

  
“What’s wrong?”  
“We need to get out before those guys outside see us.”  
“Is there another door?”  
“Fuck, no, just that one. Let’s try and make a dash for it, trust me. You do not want to be caught by those guys.”

  
Suddenly you’re seeing flashes of Dirk. Him coming home beat up and bloody. The scars he hides with hoodies, and bruises he tells his brother are accidents. You start to get this feeling of something clenching your heart, and your vision goes red.

  
“Dirk. Are those the ones that hurt you.”  
“...”  
“Dirk if you don’t answer me-”  
“Yes.”

  
This is the first time you’ve ever felt fury, and you start towards the door, hellbent on knocking some heads together. NO ONE is going to hurt you’re Dirk anymore. You find yourself yanked back by a warm hand.

  
“You can’t.”  
“Why not?! They’ve caused you pain!”  
“Because it’ll just piss them off, and tomorrow when I go to school I’ll be in for a beating. That one,” he points to the tallest, “is Caliborn.”

  
You scan the tall one up and down. You can’t make out much of his features, everything that far away is blurry. Straining your eyes only makes your head hurt. Dirk see’s you squinting and asks, “Can you see him?”  
You shrug, embarrassed.

  
“He’s kind of blurry from here. I can’t see him properly.”

  
Dirk smirks.

  
“Maybe you need glasses.”  
“To see? Can I borrow yours then?”

  
Dirk shakes his head, murmuring something about prescriptions. This is lost on you and you shrug again.

  
“So are we leaving?”  
“Yeah, don’t draw attention to yourself, okay?”

  
You laugh.

  
“Never.”

o0o0o0o0o0oo0

As you pass the three, you can finally make Caliborn out, his dark ragged hair and piercing red eyes. You think you hate him. Is that possible? You haven’t ever spoken to him. You quickly confirm your hatred for him as his eyes meet yours. They’re filled with cold hard mirth, and you can’t break your gaze away. His previously neutral expression turns into a wide dangerous grin, as he looks between you and Dirk. Oh. Oh no.  
“Dirk!” You hiss trying to get his attention.

He recognizes the panic in your voice.

  
“Shit shit shit!”

  
Caliborn and his two cronies stalk up to you and Dirk, hands in their baggy jacket pockets at an attempt to look non-threatening.

  
“Look who it is boys. It’s Strider.”

  
You assume he means Dirk, and you cross your arms, trying to look tough and serious.

  
Dirk smirks, “Can’t get enough of me, can you? Honestly, I’d probably be flattered if I weren’t so creeped out.”

  
Dirks demenor has changed into something you’re not familair with. He’s aloof and cold, unlike the boy you’ve watched grow up.

  
“Don’t be such a pompous ass. We actually just came to check out who your friend here was. New fuck buddy?”

  
Dirk stiffens, and you’re not sure what Caliborn means by that, you guess it’s offensive and you step forward.

  
“That’s not any of your business.”

  
Caliborn rolls his eyes.

  
“Boys, I think someone needs a lesson on how to keep in line.”

  
The two cronies instantly jumped to either side of you, grabbing your arms, and Dirk starts shouting.

  
“Hey! Back off you fucking dickwad!”

  
People from within the restaurant are watching, but nobody does anything. You meet a few of their eyes, giving them pleading looks, but they turn away. For the third time today, you are hit. These hurt much more than when Dirk used a crowbar, and you now realize he was taking it easy on you. Dirk storms towards Caliborn, his hands in fists.

  
“Let him go.”  
“What if I say no?”

  
Dirk quickly raises his knee into Caliborns crotch, and with a yowl he falls to his knees.  
The cronies rush forward, intent on helping their leader, and in that time you grab Dirks hand.

  
“Run!”

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

“Those guys are pricks.”

  
You let out a shaky breath, exhausted from running. Dirk’s breathing hasn’t changed at all, and you assume it’s because he’s used to this type of thing. Running.

  
“Dirk, are you okay?”  
“Why the hell are you asking me that? You’re the one they decided to beat on.”

  
He’s looking at you with concern, and it fills you with warmth. He’s worried about you.

  
“I’m fine. I’ve been filled with stuffing up until now, so pain is just a feeling. I don’t think it hurts me in the way it hurts you.”  
“Well you’re human now, and that means you have to be more careful.”

  
He lets out a sigh, and sprawls out onto his bed. You lay next to him, hands cushioning the back of your head.

  
“Why do they hate you?”  
“I guess they’re jealous. And maybe a bit scared too.”  
“Why?”  
“My Bro is a pretty influentual guy with lots of connections. They’re all from rich families and we intimidate them.”  
“But you never did anything to provoke them?”  
“Nothing besides a little sass.”

  
He smiles at you.

  
“That’s not fair then! They don’t know you, not like I do!”

  
Dirk turns to his side, looking and you, and you roll over to face him.

  
“It doens’t matter to them.”

  
You think you look upset, because Dirk wraps an arm around your waist. This is a comfort, one that you hadn't experienced since he was little and snuggled with you all the time.

  
“Let’s not worry about it right now, okay?”  
“Fine. But I’m still upset.”  
“I know.”  
“Hey Dirk?”  
“Yeah?”  
“What did Caliborn mean when he asked if I was your fuck buddy?”

  
The blondes ears turn red. You reach over to take his shades off, wondering why he’d fall silent. He lets you take them, and you place them on the night stand.

  
“Dirk?”

  
His whole face is red now and you wonder if you’ve upset him by asking.

  
“Well, uh… Humans do this thing… and it makes them feel good. And he’s asking if our relationship is just based off of that.”  
“How is that offensive then? It sounds like quite the opposite.”  
“Uh..”  
“In fact if it’s something that makes you feel good, I’d do it for you.”

  
He sputters and his face turns an even brighter shade of red, if that’s even possible.

  
“That’s not necessary! I mean, argh!”

  
Dirk buries his face in a pillow leaving you confused. When he comes out again he takes a deep breath.

  
“When two people love each other and are physically intimate, they have sex.”

  
You can tell this conversation is making him uncomfortable.

  
“What do you mean intimate?”  
“Like, hugging, kissing, cuddling…”

  
You look at him, raising an eyebrow. You two have hugged AND cuddled, and although you aren't quite sure what kissing is, you think you’re qualified for what ever a fuck buddy is.

  
“Don’t we do that though?”  
“No! Well, yeah, but I’ve only known you for a day! So it’s not like that.”  
“A day?”

  
You feel anger rising, and glare at Dirk.

  
“I’ve known you for years!”  
“This type of thing is a two way street Jake! You may know me, but I barely know you.”  
“So just because I couldn’t speak or move, those years counted for nothing? I loved you as a doll, and I still love you now.”

  
This silences Dirk.

  
“Don’t you want love? I know you’ve been lonely.”

  
More silence. Finally Dirk moves closer to you, and pulls you tight to him.

  
“I’m sorry.”

  
For awhile neither of you say anything. The quiet is nice, only disturbed by breathing. The light outside has dimmed since when you came barreling into the apartment, and you think that the stars will be out soon.

  
“Dirk, you never finished explaining.”

  
He groans.

  
“We’ve cuddled and hugged, so what’s kissing?”  
“I… I can show you if you want.”  
“Okay.”

  
Dirk sits up, and you follow suit, curious.  
He puts the palm of his hand against your cheek. It’s warm and you lean into it, looking into his bright orange eyes. He starts to lean closer, tilting his head and shutting his eyes. Your breath catches in your throat as he gently presses his lips to yours. Anything you were just thinking vanishes and you feel sparks shoot across your body. Your heart is beating faster, and faster as he begins to move his lips and you clumsily try to match his rhythm, not being able to get enough. You have to pull back to soon, lacking air. The only thing you dread about being human is the need to breath. You look Dirk over, hoping the kiss had affected him like it had affected you. He looks flustered, his normally carefully groomed hair out of place.

  
“Can we kiss more often?”

  
Dirk lets out a breathy chuckle.

  
“I’m down for that.”

o0o0o0o0oo0o0o0o0o0o

Lights start to come through Dirks window, and he shakes you awake.

  
“Jake?”

  
You give off an incoherent noise.

“Mrmpgh, what?”  
“I have to go to school, I’ll be back in a few hours, okay?”

  
Now wide awake, you say, “I’m coming with.”

  
Dirk gives you a warm smile.

  
“Not until we can register you. I’ll try to get Bro to do that tomorrow.”  
“What about Cali-bastard though?”  
“Don’t worry, I’ll be fine.”  
“Come back safe.”

  
He kisses you on the forehead and walks out of his room.

  
“As if I’d let him go alone...”

  
You get out of bed and rummage through Dirks closet, quickly pulling on a pair of jeans and a T-shirt. You leave his room, your home, and walk out the front door, catching a glimpse of Dirk turning a corner in the long hallway. You follow him, staying out of sight. He takes stairs down, and to avoid getting your foot steps heard, you take the elevator. He managed to clear the stairs before you got out of the elevator, and you have to run so you don’t lose him. After a few blocks, he arrives at the school.

 

You find some bushes, and crouch in them, watching him walk into the school. Time passes slowly and you drift off a few times. You never thought you’d be bored, for God’s sake, you sat on the same shelf looking at the same things for years. This was worse. Finally, a loud bell rang, and a swarm of teens exited the large school building. You scan the crowd for blonde spiky hair and large dark glasses but find nothing. The corners of your mouth turn down. Where is he? Growing impatient as the group of people thins, you get out of the bushes, earning a few strange looks from a couple of chattering girls nearby. You circle the school, weary of going in. You’re about to give up and go back home, thinking he probably snuck past you some how, when you hear muffled shouting from behind a smaller building on the school campus. Slightly concerned you jog over to the structure and peek around the corner.

 

You feel your stomach drop and your heart stop. Caliborn has Dirk, hands pinned above him against the buildings wall, peeling with white paint. He was kissing your Dirk. On the mouth. You’re torn between ripping the bastard away from your owner, or running away. You can’t watch this, and the fact that Dirk isn’t fighting him back hurts more than anything. You take a jolting step forward, and stop. Caliborn is pulling away from Dirk, a smirk on his face. He bends his neck down and tugs on the collar of Dirks shirt. Everytime he pressed his lips to Dirks neck you feel something splinter inside. You start to retreat, treading backwards, still looking at the heart wrenching sight, when your foot hits a littered soda can. Both males look up trying to find the source of the noise and their eyes land on you. Caliborn sneers, and Dirk just stares.

  
“Jake, you shouldn’t have seen that.”  
“You and him? I thought-”

  
Caliborn cuts in.

  
“It doesn’t matter what you think, now get the hell outta here before I do something about it.”

  
You narrow your eyes and stand firm.

  
“Then do something.”

  
Dirk starts towards you but Caliborn shoves him back behind him.

  
“Back off Dirk, if your boyfriend’s gonna do something, let him do it.”  
“Leave him out of this, he’s not part of the deal.”

  
You glance between the two.

  
“Deal?”

  
Caliborn’s sneer grows larger.

  
“How ‘bout a little gratitude? Without me you would’ve been dead by now.”  
“Dirk what the hell is he talking about?”  
“A while back... we made a deal…”

  
He looks disgusted and you don’t want him to continue but you have to know.

  
“Everyday I was beaten bloody by his fucking goons. No matter what I did it happened. Then Caliborn found me one day nearly passed out from blood loss behind the school. He offered me a deal. He’d lessen my pain when his friends attacked, if I became his goddamn… toy. Basically a little experiment for him.”

  
You wheel around to face Caliborn.

  
“YOU COULD HAVE HELPED HIM YOU ASS.”

  
Breathing ragged, you stalk up to him absolutely livid.

  
“You could’ve stopped them.”

  
Caliborn looks unconcerned, and causally looks at his nails.

  
“Wasn’t my problem.”

  
Smirking, you respond, “How about this?”

  
Before he knew it, Caliborn was on his ass, clutching his stomach.  
You turn away from him with a boyish grin on your face.

  
“That was a good punch! Come on Dirk let’s leave.”  
“What about-”  
“We can talk later.”

  
Dirk gives you a sad half smile and nods. You reach to grab his hand when he shouts, “Jake, move!”

  
“If I can’t have him neither can you!”

  
Time slows. Dirk’s reaching towards you, and you’re turning around. Then you see the knife, and its owner, and then the arch it’s taking to hit its target. You. Then you watch Caliborn turn and run. You’ve never bled as a human before, so the sudden shock of color startles you. The hilt of the pocket knife sticks out from your rib cage and the blood spreads across your borrowed T-shirt like nothing you’ve ever seen before. Then the pain hits, and you crumple. Loose bits of gravel dig into your hands, and you catch a glimpse of feet scrambling up and away from you. You’re pulled onto someone’s lap. Dirk’s? Yes, it’s him.

  
“Hey Dirk, think you’re aunt can stitch me up this time?”

  
Chuckling weakly, you try to get up, and discover that makes the pain worse.

  
“Shut up… It’s not that bad… You’ll be fine.”

  
His voice is shaking, and you’re starting to feel light headed.

  
“You know, I’m kind of sleepy. You humans sure do need a lot of rest. Is this why you used to take naps?”  
“No, no you can’t sleep, okay? If you go to sleep you might never wake up.”

  
You look down and notice the red pooling around you.

  
“This hurts worse than getting hit. But, it’ll go away like that too?”

  
Something drips onto your face, and you focus your slowly blurring vision on Dirk’s face. You slide off his glasses and find him crying.

  
“This is not the way I planned to be human. Do you guys normally get hurt this often?”  
“Jake you’re dying.”

  
Dying? Another foreign word to a doll.

  
“Is that bad?

“Yes, it means you’ll leave me forever.”

  
Oh. No, that can’t be right.

  
“I would never do that.”  
“You won’t have a choice.”

  
You’re vision is black around the edges, and you shake your head, trying to get rid of it.

  
“I love you Jake. I loved you as a doll, and I love you as a human.”

  
This makes you extremely happy. He hasn’t told you he loves you since he was little and it’s nice to hear it again. It’s getting harder to breath, and fearing what this means you painstakingly sit up, despite Dirk’s noises of concern. You kiss his forehead, then his cheek, then his lips.

  
“If I’m leaving you, then please don’t forget me. I love you more than anyone, and I-”  
You start to feel yourself fade, and you words slide to a halt in your throat. The last thing you remember seeing is Dirk’s face, hovering above yours.

Goodbye my Prince. I will forever be your toy soldier.


End file.
